Here is Terry Pratchett in defence of shechita (alright, probably not his intention, but could be in an alternative universe).
Death (or, more properly, DEATH),has been told to retire and, somewhat at a loss what to do next, ends up working on a farm, under the name of Bill Door:
It was the most interesting technique she had ever witnessed. She wouldn’t even have thought that it was technically possible.
Eventually she said: ‘It’s good. You’ve got the swing and everything.’
THANK YOU, MISS FLITWORTH.
‘But why one blade of grass at a time?’
Bill Door regarded the neat row of stalks for some while.
THERE IS ANOTHER WAY?
‘You can do lots in one go, you know.’
NO. NO. ONE BLADE AT A TIME. ONE TIME, ONE BLADE.
‘You won’t cut many that way’, said Miss Flitworth.’
EVERY LAST ONE, MISS FLITWORTH.
TRUST ME ON THIS.
(Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett, 1991, Corgi edn. 1992 p.91)